I love you too, mummy < 3

At 7 pm just now, my mom called me; asking whether I had find a friend to accompany me on my way back to Shah Alam later next week. When I said I haven't, she started to telling me to find one soon because she worry about me getting on the bus all alone. Then I said that I used to do so & more comfortable of doing that, she said that attitude of me being okay to be alone is the only thing that she find wrong in me. She wish that I would stop being so undependable and start to having used to have people around me when I go somewhere else. The thing is, I don't want to be a person who's being a burden to someone else. If I think that I can do the thing all by myself, I'll just do it. No need to trouble someone else. For instance, when I went to buy ticket to go back to Kelantan and then I stopped by SACC Mall to by books for my brother all by myself; I don't think it's necessary for me to trouble my friends to accompany me as that is my personal matters and has nothing to do with them. That's just the way I'm thinking. Not that I don't appreciate the times I had wit my friends; but I just love spending time on my own. I just hope that my mom would understand that.

But the thing is, when she said that that attitude of mine is the only thing she do not like in me; somehow I feel very happy. Her exact word is "Along, along xde kurang apa2 dah kecuali sikap along yang satu tu." Her words make me think that I actually is a good daughter to her. All of this time, I often wondered whether I was a good daughter to her. I always trying to be one, but the feeling of being a disappointment to my parents had always been lingering in my head. I was not able to give them a good result during my SPM period nor that I always listen to what the said without arguing. To add the fact that my little sister is better than me just make me feel more inferior. I am the eldest, I should have been a good examples to my sister and brothers but something, the job is just too hard. I often tried too hard to be the best so that they would be proud to call me their sister and daughter but I often felt that I had failed the job. My mom words earlier today make me finally feel that they are always proud of me even though sometimes me myself did not feel so. My mom never realize that her short words; although it meant to nag me, had left such a deep effect in myself. It's true when people said that family is the one that can make you cry and laugh at the same moment. To umi and abah, just want to say that ALONG SAYANG SANGAT UMI DAN ABAH!